I Am a Therapist or Other Helping Professional
Finding Purpose
We all want the sense that we have fulfilled our purpose in life. Therapy clients in particular, after they have conquered most of their demons, feel a strong desire to find new purpose. With their unhealthy goals now eliminated, they wonder: “How will I spend...
Growing Up Emotionally
THE DAY WE GREW UP Most of us can remember the day we grew up. It was the day our parents did us the favor of being so unreasonable that we said good-bye to our dependence on them forever and entered into the adult world of choices. Looking back, we realize that the...
Guidelines For Emotional Health
I found it a very interesting exercise to try to come up with a list of the most important suggestions I could possibly make and have them fit nicely into this relatively small space. The list is arranged in order of importance. If you don’t follow all of these...
Healing From Sexual Abuse: A Strategy
n all topics related to childhood sexual abuse, please understand that by using female pronouns I am definitely not saying that all abuse happens to girls. It happens about twice as often to girls, but abuse is abuse and it’s horrible in any form. If you are...
How To Have A Lousy Sex Life!
THE THERAPIST’S WARPED VIEW Therapists may not know much more than the average person about how to have a good sex life, but we sure do know a lot about how to have a lousy one! We’ve heard every bad idea in the book. Here, then, are the best bad ideas...
How To Talk About Feelings
How can we talk about our feelings? How much is too much? How much is not enough? THREE DECISIONS Whenever we talk to anyone, we make three quick decisions. Whether To SAY What We Feel. Whether To EXPRESS The Feelings. Whether To WORK AT PROBLEM SOLVING. We usually...
Life’s “Craziest” Beliefs
A QUICK MENTAL HEALTH TEST Ask yourself if you believe any of these three statements: “The world is a scary place.” “I am only alive to please other people.” “I cannot change.” If you find that you do believe any of these...
Making Decisions
We are all indecisive sometimes. It happens whenever there are two things we want almost equally but we can only have one of them. This topic will help you decide with confidence when you think you can’t decide. We’ll look at seven ways we get confused....
Mistakes Every Good Parent Makes
“DRIVERS” “Drivers” are phrases most parents say to their children very, very often – at least once most days. They can be stated kindly or callously, quietly or loudly, but the message is always the same: “If you want to please me...
Motivation
BASIC ASSUMPTION Every physically healthy person has plenty of energy, so every physically healthy person has plenty of motivation. Nobody is lazy. We are all just motivated toward different things. Calling someone lazy is like calling them any other nasty name. It...
Natural Anger
WHAT ANGER IS Anger is a natural emotion or feeling. We feel anger whenever we are BLOCKED from getting something we want. It is good for us because it protects us from threat, it reminds us that we have power to overcome obstacles, and it gives us a measure of how...
Perfectionism
BRAGGING OR COMPLAINING Have you noticed that someone who says they have a problem with perfectionism usually says it with a sheepish smile on their face? Have you also noticed that their smile is a strangely complicated one which includes both pride and shame? The...
Powerful Ideas #1
A good therapist provides many “permissions.” A permission is a statement which helps you feel “allowed” to do well. The statements below are some of the many permissions I’ve sent your way in these topics. If you are looking for some...
Problem Solving #1: Roadblocks
PROBLEM SOLVING #1 All personal and interpersonal problems CAN be solved. When they aren’t solved, it’s often due to these roadblocks. MAYBE YOU DON’T WANT TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM One common roadblock happens when people think they want to solve a...
Problem Solving #2: Defining the Problem
All personal and interpersonal problems can be solved. When we don’t solve a problem, it’s often because we haven’t identified it clearly. ARGUMENTS ABOUT “EVERYTHING” Some people disagree for hours (or days!) without even knowing what...
Problem Solving #3: The Six Aspects Of A Problem (Part 1)
PROBLEM SOLVING SERIES: #3 All personal and interpersonal problems can be solved. We’ve looked at the roadblocks (#1) and how to identify a problem (#2). Now, in #3 and #4, we’ll learn about the six aspects of all problems. This topic focuses on the...
Problem Solving #4: The Six Aspects Of Any Problem (Part 2)
PROBLEM SOLVING SERIES – #4 All personal and interpersonal problems CAN be solved. We’ve looked at the roadblocks (#1) and how to identify a problem (#2). Now, in #3 and #4, we’ll learn about the six aspects of all problems. This topic focuses on my...
Problems With Anger
PROBLEMS WITH NATURAL ANGER If we work and live around other people, we get angry about twenty times every day. And yet many people would swear they seldom get angry at all. We tend to be so afraid of our anger that, as a culture, we pretend it isn’t there....
Quitting Addictions
MY KNOWLEDGE AND INTEREST I’m not an expert on addictions but I do know a lot about how people change. And overcoming addiction is one of the biggest changes anyone can make. So here are the beliefs and methods I find most helpful for people who are licking...
Self Help Quiz #2
These questions illustrate major points I’ve emphasized in various topics. Some of these major points were surprising when you first read them, so, if you’ve forgotten what the topics said, you may get surprised again when check your answers! Sometimes...
