I May Be Depressed
About Joy
OUR “AUTOMATIC PILOT” Plants are on automatic pilot to grow toward the sun. Animals are on automatic pilot to grow toward food and procreation. Everything in nature is on automatic pilot – constantly seeking what will meet its needs. Humans are on...
About Shame
SHAME AND GUILT Shame is not the same as guilt. When we feel guilt, it’s about something we did. When we feel shame, it’s about who we are. When we feel guilty we need to learn that it’s OK to make mistakes. When we feel shame we need to learn that...
An Inspiration From War
On September 11, 2001 the World Trade Center in New York was completely destroyed, and the Pentagon, the center of American military power, was greatly damaged as well. About three thousand people died. All U.S. citizens, and citizens of all other countries, were in...
Are You Considering Therapy?
DO YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP? Probably not! Since you are competent enough to read and understand this, the question isn’t whether you need therapy but whether you want it. And whether you want it enough. HOW CAN I TELL IF I WANT THERAPY ENOUGH? You can decide...
Basics #1: Your Needs and Wants
What every eight-year-old should know and most adults have never been taught about the emotions that run our lives. INTRODUCTION This topic explains what your feelings are, how to use them to help yourself, and how to overcome the ones that get in your way. This...
Basics #2: Your Natural Feelings
What every eight-year-old should know and most adults have never been taught about the emotions that run our lives. THE NATURAL, REAL FEELINGS Feelings that start in our senses are natural responses to the real world. When we notice real anger, or sadness, or scare,...
Basics #3: Unnatural Feelings
What every eight-year-old should know and most adults have never been taught about the emotions that run our lives. ABOUT GUILT Since guilt is not a natural, necessary emotion, it blocks and wastes our energy. GUILT IS A COVER-UP FOR ANGER WHICH LEAVES US FEELING SAD....
Boundaries
WHAT THEY ARE The concept of “boundaries” relates to our sense of self. At birth and for a long while after, a baby has no real sense of who they are. When we see a baby in their mother’s arms, we see two people – the child and the mother. But...
Changing Your Personality
People who have never experienced therapy often ask: “Do people really change?” People who have experienced good therapy know the answer is a resounding “Yes!” [If you wonder about this yourself, please read: “About Change.”] But there’s a related question that even...
Cooperation: How?
“Cooperation #1: Why?” was about why we cooperate and how to decide whether to cooperate or compete. This topic is about how to actually do the cooperating. THE CONVERSATION We could come up with some nonverbal examples of good cooperation but most of the...
Cooperation: Why?
People who want to control us say, “All I want is for you to cooperate.” What they really mean is, “Go along with me or I’ll accuse you of not being cooperative.” Cooperation isn’t about giving up what you want. It isn’t about...
Depression In The Culture
CHRONIC MILD DEPRESSION Professionals refer to ongoing, mild depression as “dysthymic disorder.” People who do not know the jargon tend to say much clearer things like: “I just feel blah all the time.” “I’m sick and tired of how my...
Depression: The Problem
WHAT MAKES US DEPRESSED? We get angry about twenty times a day. If we believe our anger is bad or that it’s scary to be angry, we keep it inside. The unexpressed anger builds up. It takes so much energy to keep it bottled up that we get tired from all that...
Depression: What To Do About It
BE ANGRY OR BE DEPRESSED Depressed people are angry people who don’t admit it to themselves. They tend to say nothing when they should be saying: “Get out of my way!” Anger is a natural emotion which occurs whenever something is in our way. We...
Fantasy and Reality – Part 1
Part One is a bit theoretical. Part Two will be more practical. NEVER THE TWAIN…. Popular culture says we are “crazy” if we can’t tell fantasy from reality. If that’s the definition, then we are all crazy. (No news there!) The key to...
Fantasy and Reality – Part 2
Part One was mostly theoretical. Part Two is more practical. SUMMARY OF PART ONE Fantasy is all mental activity. Reality is what we know through our senses. Fantasy should only be used for entertainment and for brief problem solving. HOW IT HELPS TO TELL THE...
Feeling Like You Belong
We all want to have the sense that we belong among people we know. Where do we really belong? What makes us feel less like we belong? What makes us feel more like we belong? WHERE DO YOU BELONG? You belong where you say you belong! The decision about whether you...
Finding Purpose
We all want the sense that we have fulfilled our purpose in life. Therapy clients in particular, after they have conquered most of their demons, feel a strong desire to find new purpose. With their unhealthy goals now eliminated, they wonder: “How will I spend...
Getting Enough Attention
“HE’S ONLY DOING IT FOR THE ATTENTION” What a ridiculous statement! Getting attention is vital for all of us. As infants we would actually die if we didn’t get enough attention, and as adults we are miserable and can actually go crazy if we are...
Growing Up Emotionally
THE DAY WE GREW UP Most of us can remember the day we grew up. It was the day our parents did us the favor of being so unreasonable that we said good-bye to our dependence on them forever and entered into the adult world of choices. Looking back, we realize that the...
