TYPE OF STROKES
THE ATTENTION COMES FROM:
|Conditional Positive||People who like something you did.||"I like how you did that."|
|Conditional Negative||People who do not like something you did.||
"I don't like that about you."
|Unconditional Positive||People who like the whole you.||"I love you!"|
People who do not like the whole you.
|"You are worthless!"|
Get good at getting and deeply absorbing the first three.
And be sure to powerfully turn down and throw away
all the "Unconditional Negative Strokes" you ever receive!
THE FIRST SIGN OF DISCOMFORT
Some people ignore their needs.
They live in pain and may die from it.
Most of us don't ignore our needs.
We notice our need but then we wait
while the discomfort turns to pain.
Get good at noticing the very first feeling of discomfort!
Avoid emotional problems by taking care of your physical needs
at the first sign of discomfort!
TRIGGERS FOR FEELINGS
Feelings are triggered by reality or fantasy.
(It's always one or the other, never both.)
REALITY comes to us through our senses.
If we can see it, hear it, taste it, smell it,
or feel it on our skin, then it is real.
FANTASY is all mental activity
- including thoughts, memories, dreams, ideas, etc.
Fantasy doesn't come TO us,
it comes FROM us
- from our own brains.
If we only think it,
it might be true or it might be false
- but it is not real!
FEELINGS WE CREATE
Feelings that start in our brains
rather than in our senses
are unnecessary and optional,
because they are not real.
If we create painful feelings
we will need to change how we think
in order to feel better.
If we create pleasurable feelings,
- as long as we remember we are only imagining.
Sometimes we create feelings which are so strong that
they hide our real feelings from our senses.
When we do this we are out of touch with reality,
and in real danger of making serious mistakes.
Please Tell Your Friends About This Site.
Enjoy Your Changes!
Everything here is designed to help you do just that!
Write To Me, I Want To Hear From You!
Tony Schirtzinger, Therapist (Milwaukee)