I Am a Therapist or Other Helping Professional
Self Love
Almost all emotional problems indicate a lack of self-love. (Only a few very rare problems which are caused entirely by physical disease can be excluded.) DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF? I’m going to be giving you a lot of examples of how self-love works. Remember as you...
Self-help Quiz #1
This quiz is based on ideas emphasized in other topics. Some questions are harder than they appear at first glance. Sometimes more than one answer is technically correct, but one answer is always best. The best answers are listed at the bottom. Click on the topic the...
Sexual Abuse In Childhood
ABOUT THIS SERIES OF ARTICLES This is the first of a series of articles on the general topic of childhood sexual abuse. Our focus will be on adults who were sexually abused as children and who did not receive adequate parental or professional care afterwards. This...
Shame: What You Can Do About It
Most of us have problems with shame, to one degree or another. The first article in this series (“About Shame”) helped you to learn if you have a big problem with shame. This second article is for anyone who finds any shame in their life. YOUR OVERALL GOAL...
Should We Blame Our Parents?
The answer to this question can be stated quickly and clearly, but understanding the answer can take a lifetime. THE QUICK ANSWER: Don’t blame your parents unless you have to. But do hold them, and yourself, RESPONSIBLE. AN EXAMPLE: “THE STUPID...
Stages of Therapy
Therapy is unique. Each client, each therapist, and each meeting are one of a kind. But if we look at therapy from a great enough distance we can see that there are eight predictable stages in the process. GETTING READY It all starts when we notice that certain...
Stop Making Comparisons!
A HOT TIP Want a hot tip about how to quickly and permanently improve how you feel? STOP MAKING COMPARISONS! All kinds of comparisons! TWO KINDS OF COMPARISONS Remember the last time you heard someone make a comparison about you. They might have said: “You look...
Subconscious Life Scripts
WHAT IS A ‘SCRIPT’? A script is a subconscious life plan made by a small child. Once this plan is made, it influences the whole course of that person’s life. I am going to be telling you about the usual way scripts work. But, since scripts are so...
Success
A STORY OF FAILURE A 28 year old man came to therapy because his wife insisted, under threat of divorce. He talked only of his business, saying nothing at all about his wife, his children, or his friends. He had built a successful business which he recently sold at a...
Teenagers
WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO PROVE? Teenagers are trying to prove to themselves that they don’t need anyone. If you get in the way of this natural process, you will face big trouble. If you convince them that they do need you, they may never grow up and never...
Were You Loved As A Child?
Many people scoff whenever this topic comes up. “What difference does it make now?” they ask. “There are some people who like me now, and maybe some of them even love me.” “So what, if I wasn’t loved as a child!?” That’s...
What Is A Therapist’s Job?
This topic comes from an e-mail letter I received a few months back. I’ve only done some minor editing. THE LETTER I RECEIVED: What is the job of a therapist? To listen? Anybody can do that, and for free! I’ve had two therapists that just stole my money....
What To Tell A Therapist
If you’ve never been in therapy you might wonder what people talk about week after week in those oh-so-private little offices. That’s what I’m going to tell you. If you are in therapy now this topic can help you to decide what to talk about if you...
Who Is A Therapist?
Therapy is essentially a healthy relationship. Teaching occurs. Emotions are expressed. Ideas are exchanged and examined. But none of these is primary. What is primary is the relationship between the client and the therapist. The healthier this relationship can be,...
Why Are You Treated The Way You Are?
THE 95% RULE Ninety-five percent of the time we get treated the way we INVITE people to treat us. ABOUT “INVITATIONS” Everything we do, especially our nonverbal behavior, is an invitation to those around us. A smile is an invitation. So is a frown. So is a...
Why Do We Work So Hard?
“I couldn’t find a moment’s rest.” “The boss is a slave driver!” “The kids just kept demanding more and more of me.” We hear complaints like these every day – from friends, family members, everyone. When we agree...