I am Curious About Myself
Relationships
SEX OR CUDDLING? Which is most important, sex or cuddling? If that’s the choice, it’s cuddling. But really it is touch – in all its forms – that makes or breaks relationships. WANTING A NEW PARTNER In order to find a new partner you must first...
Self Help Quiz #2
These questions illustrate major points I’ve emphasized in various topics. Some of these major points were surprising when you first read them, so, if you’ve forgotten what the topics said, you may get surprised again when check your answers! Sometimes...
Self-help Quiz #1
This quiz is based on ideas emphasized in other topics. Some questions are harder than they appear at first glance. Sometimes more than one answer is technically correct, but one answer is always best. The best answers are listed at the bottom. Click on the topic the...
Should We Blame Our Parents?
The answer to this question can be stated quickly and clearly, but understanding the answer can take a lifetime. THE QUICK ANSWER: Don’t blame your parents unless you have to. But do hold them, and yourself, RESPONSIBLE. AN EXAMPLE: “THE STUPID...
Stop Making Comparisons!
A HOT TIP Want a hot tip about how to quickly and permanently improve how you feel? STOP MAKING COMPARISONS! All kinds of comparisons! TWO KINDS OF COMPARISONS Remember the last time you heard someone make a comparison about you. They might have said: “You look...
Subconscious Life Scripts
WHAT IS A ‘SCRIPT’? A script is a subconscious life plan made by a small child. Once this plan is made, it influences the whole course of that person’s life. I am going to be telling you about the usual way scripts work. But, since scripts are so...
Success
A STORY OF FAILURE A 28 year old man came to therapy because his wife insisted, under threat of divorce. He talked only of his business, saying nothing at all about his wife, his children, or his friends. He had built a successful business which he recently sold at a...
Were You Loved As A Child?
Many people scoff whenever this topic comes up. “What difference does it make now?” they ask. “There are some people who like me now, and maybe some of them even love me.” “So what, if I wasn’t loved as a child!?” That’s...
What Helps?
Sometimes we want to be helpful to an adult friend who is feeling bad. How can we offer personal help to a friend? How can we guard against damaging our relationship with them in the process? THREE GUIDING PRINCIPLES 1) Do you really want to help? 2) Are you willing...
What Terror Does To Us
I am writing this a few weeks after an attack on the United States by terrorists. I could have written this about many other terrors adults sometimes face, such as living without adequate food and water, living with chronic physical abuse, living with someone who is...
What To Tell A Therapist
If you’ve never been in therapy you might wonder what people talk about week after week in those oh-so-private little offices. That’s what I’m going to tell you. If you are in therapy now this topic can help you to decide what to talk about if you...
Who Can You Trust?
ABOUT “CONS” In the general population about one out of ten people are completely untrustable. They are called “cons” and they live by these “rules”: 1) Only fools tell the truth. 2) If you can get by with it, it’s OK. 3) Joy...
Who Is The Real You?
It’s the classic question of all time: “Who Am I?” Am I the conscious me… the guy who works and plays and thinks and is aware of himself? Am I the subconscious me… the person with deep, hidden desires I don’t even know about? Am I the spiritual me… driven by spiritual...
Who Needs Help?
If you wonder if you are normal, the answer is definitely “No.” You aren’t normal because normal is only an idea, not a reality. Normalcy just isn’t worth discussing. But I do have my own opinions about what is typical or average in our...
Who’s Healthy?
The best measure of emotional health is: How well do we handle the problems and opportunities we face in our daily lives? If you are extremely neurotic but you’ve found a way to survive a difficult life, you are far healthier than those who avoid such labels...
Why Are You Treated The Way You Are?
THE 95% RULE Ninety-five percent of the time we get treated the way we INVITE people to treat us. ABOUT “INVITATIONS” Everything we do, especially our nonverbal behavior, is an invitation to those around us. A smile is an invitation. So is a frown. So is a...
Why Do We Work So Hard?
“I couldn’t find a moment’s rest.” “The boss is a slave driver!” “The kids just kept demanding more and more of me.” We hear complaints like these every day – from friends, family members, everyone. When we agree...