I Want to Learn About Child Abuse
How Does Abuse Happen?
As I write this, our country is rightly embarrassed and understandably shocked after learning about prisoner abuse and other atrocities committed by us, and against us, during war. As a therapist, I know that abuse doesn’t occur only in war. I hear nearly every...
Living With Alcoholics
THE PROBLEM Alcoholism is still the scourge of this country. Earlier identification of the problem and better treatment programs have improved things, but the number of lives damaged and all of other costs involved remain immense. Much of what will be said here...
Loneliness
We are all lonely sometimes. One of the best things we can do for ourselves is to arrange our lives to be sure it doesn’t happen regularly. Everyone needs regular doses of attention every day. DAILY LONELINESS Daily loneliness comes from ignoring our natural...
Mistakes Every Good Parent Makes
“DRIVERS” “Drivers” are phrases most parents say to their children very, very often – at least once most days. They can be stated kindly or callously, quietly or loudly, but the message is always the same: “If you want to please me...
Natural Sadness
WHAT SADNESS IS Sadness is a natural emotion or feeling. We feel sadness whenever we LOSE something that we previously enjoyed. It is good for us both because it offers RELIEF from the pain of the loss and because it gives us a MEASURE of the importance of what...
Problems With Anger
PROBLEMS WITH NATURAL ANGER If we work and live around other people, we get angry about twenty times every day. And yet many people would swear they seldom get angry at all. We tend to be so afraid of our anger that, as a culture, we pretend it isn’t there....
Problems With Scare
PROBLEMS WITH NATURAL SCARE Natural scare only occurs when we are face to face with a real threat to our existence (a high speed auto coming toward us, threats with a weapon, etc.). Almost No Problems At All: Natural fear causes almost no psychological problems at all...
Quitting Addictions
MY KNOWLEDGE AND INTEREST I’m not an expert on addictions but I do know a lot about how people change. And overcoming addiction is one of the biggest changes anyone can make. So here are the beliefs and methods I find most helpful for people who are licking...
Self Love
Almost all emotional problems indicate a lack of self-love. (Only a few very rare problems which are caused entirely by physical disease can be excluded.) DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF? I’m going to be giving you a lot of examples of how self-love works. Remember as you...
Sexual Abuse In Childhood
ABOUT THIS SERIES OF ARTICLES This is the first of a series of articles on the general topic of childhood sexual abuse. Our focus will be on adults who were sexually abused as children and who did not receive adequate parental or professional care afterwards. This...
Shame: What You Can Do About It
Most of us have problems with shame, to one degree or another. The first article in this series (“About Shame”) helped you to learn if you have a big problem with shame. This second article is for anyone who finds any shame in their life. YOUR OVERALL GOAL...
Should We Blame Our Parents?
The answer to this question can be stated quickly and clearly, but understanding the answer can take a lifetime. THE QUICK ANSWER: Don’t blame your parents unless you have to. But do hold them, and yourself, RESPONSIBLE. AN EXAMPLE: “THE STUPID...
Taking Care of Yourself
Do you think you know Michael Jackson well? How about Bill Clinton? Oprah Winfrey? Julia Roberts? Adolph Hitler? We think we know these famous people quite well even though we’ve never even shared a cup of coffee with them. They are too well known to be...
Were You Loved As A Child?
Many people scoff whenever this topic comes up. “What difference does it make now?” they ask. “There are some people who like me now, and maybe some of them even love me.” “So what, if I wasn’t loved as a child!?” That’s...
What Terror Does To Us
I am writing this a few weeks after an attack on the United States by terrorists. I could have written this about many other terrors adults sometimes face, such as living without adequate food and water, living with chronic physical abuse, living with someone who is...
What To Tell A Therapist
If you’ve never been in therapy you might wonder what people talk about week after week in those oh-so-private little offices. That’s what I’m going to tell you. If you are in therapy now this topic can help you to decide what to talk about if you...
