Q&A
FANTASIES ABOUT HER PSYCHIATRIST
Q: I began seeing a psychiatrist two years ago because I was obese and at 30 years old, had never had a boyfriend. Now I’ve lost 60 pounds and am trying to let men “in”, but really have no interest in meeting anyone because I am so in love with my fabulous shrink. I...
FIANCÉ’ “CHEATED”
Q: How do you deal in relationship, when your fiancé cheats in front of you in a party but cries out to you, that she love’s you very much .I am hurt with anger. Her excuse was alcohol. By the way this has happened twice. Confused. A: So much to consider here....
FLIRTS AND REJECTS
Q: Why do guys think that just because you dance with them, they have a right to your phone number? I like to go to clubs by myself, dance it all out, hang with my friends, and go home alone. Seems like no matter how many years now I do this, there are always plenty...
FRIEND CUTS AND BURNS HIMSELF
Q: I have a long time friend that has confided in me that he sometimes cuts & burns himself. My friend and I met at a Foster Home we stayed at for a few years. So I was always aware that my friend’s childhood was dysfunctional & harmful but it...
FRIEND HELPS AND THEN DISAPPEARS IN ANGER
Q: What’s going on when a stranger befriends you (a very lonely, depressed person) and explicitly invites you to share all your problems, does their best to help you (because they had been helped in their own depression) ,and seems to acknowledge your efforts to...
FRIEND’S DRINKING PROBLEM
Q: I have a friend who I know has a drinking problem. He has left home and his parents are worried about him. He’s 21. They called me after he was gone for the first week but I hadn’t heard from him. I have now and see him a couple times a week. He is...
GIRLFRIEND WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED
Q: Hello. I am twenty-one years old and am involved with a twenty year old girl who suffered sexual abuse from her step father when she was a child (from as early as she can remember until the age of eleven or twelve). I know that it is affecting our intimate...
GIVING UP ON VALENTINE’S DAY
Q: Today is Valentine’s day and I have no Valentine date or even a serious relationship. I seem to be in this state of flux for the past 10 years. In my early 40s and I am not even perceived as ‘relationship or marriage material. And I cannot relax on a...
GRANDMA WAS KILLED
Q: Since my Grandma was killed, I’ve been clinging to my mom. Yesterday she asked for some space. I obliged, but I’ve started crying (over her and Grandma) whenever I’m alone. Why do I feel like I’ve started the grieving process all over? Why...
GRIEF
Q: My father passed on recently. I was with him at the time. Last night, a week later I dreamed I saw him lost in an airport. I asked him what he was doing there and he said he was waiting for me. We talked a little and I asked him if he was sure he had made the right...
GUILT, SHAME AND ABUSERS
Q: I understand what you are trying to say, but I feel this kind of therapy puts the emphasis on sympathy for people who do wrong instead of on the people who get hurt by them. Shame and guilt are like physical pain – a signal to yourself that you have done...
HATES FACING THE PAST
Q: Hello. Quick question. I had a bad experience at eight and I just started trying therapy because my husband and I were going to a marriage counselor. I have been fine but now I feel messed up. Should I keep going? I hate it. A: I guess it depends on what you hate...
HE EXPLAINS TOO MUCH
Q: My boyfriend wants to explain everything constantly. I have learned how to say “ah hum” and look interested while he is talking. He doesn’t hear what I say and seems to be a black-hole for attention. What’s this all about? Giving him the...
HE NEGLECTS HER
Q: About “Getting Enough Attention” – “How To Get And Use Positive Attention Just For Being”, you list four ways: 1. Choose people who are good at giving it. (Understood) 2. Know You Want it. 3. Go for It. 4. Take the Time to Absorb It....
HE SAYS SHE SHOULD LOSE WEIGHT
Q: A man I am dating demands I lose some weight to be able to proceed with a deeper involvement. I am bit hurt by this request, but I do like him and I wonder if I tell him off that someone else might tell me the same. I don’t think I am too overweight, but I am...
HE SAYS SHE’S A BIGOT
Q: I was accused me of being a bigot. I have been supporting him through some tough times – I have been upset & pressured- and he said last night that “helping a black child” doesn’t make me good & that I was a bigot. For the...
HE’S SHY AND SHE SAID “NO”
Q: There is a girl who I like very much indeed. I have told her how I feel but she says she is not interested, which I accept. I would be happy just being friends, but I think she feels uncomfortable knowing how I feel about her. She very rarely wants to go anywhere...
HER “BOSS” THREATENS DIVORCE
Q: My husband has not kept up with the property we live on and won’t let me hire someone even though I made $60K last year. I feel like I have no power in my relationship because he always threatens to divorce me when we disagree… A: The most important...
HER FAMILY WANTS HER TO END RELATIONSHIP
Q: My girlfriend has been really depressed and kind of falling apart because her family fights all the time about her going out with me. We Love each other alot but she told me she wants to take a break for a little while. Should I let her or should I stay with her...
HER SHAME STOPS HIM
HER SHAME STOPS HIM Q: I enjoyed the two topics about “Shame” at your site. I am engaged to someone who I believe suffers greatly from being ashamed and these articles describe her. However, she has never described herself as ashamed. I have a question: it...
