Q: My husband enjoys caressing an massaging my breasts, I enjoy it as well. He and I had always done this in private without any further sexual intimacy happening. We both find it to be relaxing and substantial.

In the last year my husband has been under more stress then usual and we have done our above activity a lot more often. Over the last few months he has started needing to do it before a big meeting or other stressful situations, often in semi public areas. At first this was a thrill, but now it seems not much else calms his anxiety.

Is this a healthy way to continue to deal with stress? Should I not be concerned with his added need for this? I wonder are there other couples that do this as well.

A: The first thing that comes to mind is “If it works, don’t fix it!”….

If your husband is way too dependent in general, that’s a big problem. If his anxiety is building over time and it is getting too much for him (and you) to handle, that’s another big problem. But this way of dealing with stress sure is a lot better than alcohol or drugs or nail biting or hair pulling or gambling or compulsive masturbation or most other things I can think of!

I’m sure there are other couples who do this or similar things when they want a dose of closeness before anxiety provoking situations, but I don’t think it matters even a little bit whether other couples do this. Every couple has many unique things they discover about each other and the only question is whether Both people feel OK about what they discover.

Hope this can minimize some of your own anxiety about this, and that you and your husband continue to feel close in whatever ways work best for you!

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