Q&A
“MILD” SEXUAL ABUSE IN CHILDHOOD
Q: I am a middleaged woman. As a child, I was felt up (outside the clothes) by an uncle. My parents refused to intervene, to preserve family peace and because I was asking for it. It was very mild “abuse” but I can’t seem to stop thinking about it....
“SOMETHING” HAPPENED
Q: Hello. I have been overwhelmed with worry about an event which happened five years ago. The worry has led to a need to be perfect, a jealousy of people who had chances I didn’t have, and an extremely low self-esteem. I just want to let go of the past! Thank...
18 YEARS OF MISTREATMENT
Q: I have been married for 18 years. My husband is always cursing. He can not say one sentence without cursing. He is always complaining. Weather its about how I tend our house, the neighbors, my friends, his job, our daughter. He is always angry. Example: I took my...
A THERAPY IMPASSE
Q: I am at present in therapy for child abuse … I have hit an impasse with my therapist and just can not get past it … It is frustrating me as to why the one thing that has been running throughout my whole life is the one thing I can not talk about. Any...
ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING IS HER FAULT
Q: In the movie “City Hall”, the mayor says, “If a sparrow dies in Central Park, I feel responsible.” Like him, I feel a constant, nagging sense of guilt when I cannot tangibly fix ***everything*** that’s wrong in the world, no matter how...
ABUSE SUCCESS STORY
Q: Tony, My brother just sent me the link to your web site I am excited (if that’s the correct word) about your strategies for healing from sexual abuse that I read so far: daily self -care, psychotherapy, regular source of support, and body work. You are right...
ABUSED, PROBABLY ANOREXIC, AND TOO DEPENDENT ON HER THERAPIST?
Q: AS a child I was sexually abused for a long time. I have had a lot of consoling for the last three years. I think I may have a problem as I have become too dependent on her. I really like her a lot. She has given me back my life. She is the kindness that I have...
ADDICTED DAUGHTER AND HER CHILD
Q: My 30 year old daughter and her 11 year old daughter have came to live with my husband and I. She supposedly attempted to recover from severe drug abuse but she left the treatment center after just one week. We know for certain that she is still using drugs and in...
ADDICTED MOTHER OF SEVEN YEAR OLD
Q: My sister, who lives 1000 miles away, visited me, got drunk, and confided that she’s an alcoholic (has tried AA but not now), is cheating on her husband with 2 men, tried crack recently, drives drunk, and has no friends. She has a 7 year old son. I told our...
AFRAID OF BOYFRIEND
Q: I had this dream that my boyfriend was trying to kill me. Now I feel unsure about him. I felt that the dream was very strong because when I woke up I was very shaky and couldn’t stop thinking about it. A: The dream doesn’t matter by itself. What matters...
AFRAID TO FEEL WEAK?
Q: I’m in an openly communicative, mutually loving relationship. But I’m still haunted by anger about abuse I tolerated in my previous relationship. Rationally, I recognize self-esteem, codependency, and dual disorders issues (I’m in therapies and...
ALCOHOLIC PERSONALITY
Q: “You mention ‘the true alcoholic personality.’ What is this or where can I find out more about this? A: I learned about this primarily from a book by Claude Steiner. The book is “Games Alcoholics Play.” Also, I also did a search on the...
ALONE WITH HER SCARY THOUGHTS
Q: Why would I want certain things so badly, (such as a private little house or cabin in the mountains where I can go to write/paint all alone)? Also, I never send in the books I’ve written in to publishers. Fear of rejection? I dream about all this constantly...
ALWAYS COMPARING HERSELF
Q:I constantly compare myself to others. When friends do well at something I automatically feel inferior rather than glad for them. I feel guilty because I want to be a good friend but I get hurt by others successes and cannot control it, though I don’t show it....
BISEXUAL BOYFRIEND
Q: When my boyfriend was a teenager, he had a sexual fling with a man. Before and since he was only with women. Also, he enjoys porn, some of which is transsexual and gay stuff. How common is this? Should I be worried? I keep obsessing about it… A: Some people...
BIZARRE ATTENTION SEEKING
Q: I am conducting a study on why certain people crave attention. I am currently enrolled in a Journalism course and I would appreciate your opinion for an article I am writing. I am wondering why someone would do something like faking a robbery bust in order to maybe...
BREASTS AS ANXIETY REDUCERS
Q: My husband enjoys caressing an massaging my breasts, I enjoy it as well. He and I had always done this in private without any further sexual intimacy happening. We both find it to be relaxing and substantial. In the last year my husband has been under more stress...
BROTHER MOLESTED HER FOR YEARS
Q: I was molested by my brother for lots of years – since I can remember until about 13). I lost my virginity by masturbation. I feel guilty all the time. How does abuse like this effect a woman? Please help. A: First of all, please go to the topics listed at my...
CALLS HERSELF A SOCIOPATH
Q: I am a diagnosed primary sociopath. I am very impulsive too. I am an alcoholic as well.. although I quit drinking. What can I do to help my self? I always fear I will lose control. A: What you can do to help yourself: First of all, be proud that you’ve...
CAN’T GET ALONG WITH PARENTS
Q:I lost all rational communication with my parents. Mother is “very angry,” father “disappeared”. She’s yelling at me through the phone telling she hates me, my wife etc. I know there’s no way back. Don’t want to call them...
