Q: I am a diagnosed primary sociopath. I am very impulsive too. I am an alcoholic as well.. although I quit drinking. What can I do to help my self? I always fear I will lose control.
A: What you can do to help yourself: First of all, be proud that you’ve stopped drinking! And know that your fears that you could go back to drinking are normal and to be expected. People who never drink again have them, and people who go back to drinking also have them. (Read “Quitting Addictions” at my site for some good ideas. )
If the sociopath diagnosis is correct (and it may not be), you will definitely need to learn to trust a good therapist. And your therapy will probably start by you not trusting the therapist very much at all. You will feel a need to “test” them in various ways, etc. If you find a good therapist, they will be OK with all the testing you need to do, they will teach you about their boundaries and especially about your right to have your own good, safe boundaries. And your long relationship with them will be the main way you improve your life. (Some therapists aren’t good with people who have this diagnosis, so you also may need to shop around for a while before you find someone who doesn’t seem either “too easy” or “too hard” for you to deal with.)
About your fear of “losing control.” You’ll eventually learn that you have never truly “lost control” – and that the things you did in your life that you think show you that you’ve lost control were actually the Best things you could even think of doing at the time you did them. – You’ll learn that you always have had control of the things you do, and that you’ve never had any control of the things anyone else did. That’s just how life is: we control ourselves 100% of the time and we never control anyone else.