I Am Curious About My Knowledge of Mental Health
Analyzing Your Dreams
DON’T MISS THE OBVIOUS Everyone wonders what their dreams mean, and there are many complicated systems one can use to learn about them. Since any attempt at looking inward is rewarding, all of these systems probably help some. But don’t miss the obvious....
Basics #1: Your Needs and Wants
What every eight-year-old should know and most adults have never been taught about the emotions that run our lives. INTRODUCTION This topic explains what your feelings are, how to use them to help yourself, and how to overcome the ones that get in your way. This...
Basics #2: Your Natural Feelings
What every eight-year-old should know and most adults have never been taught about the emotions that run our lives. THE NATURAL, REAL FEELINGS Feelings that start in our senses are natural responses to the real world. When we notice real anger, or sadness, or scare,...
Basics #3: Unnatural Feelings
What every eight-year-old should know and most adults have never been taught about the emotions that run our lives. ABOUT GUILT Since guilt is not a natural, necessary emotion, it blocks and wastes our energy. GUILT IS A COVER-UP FOR ANGER WHICH LEAVES US FEELING SAD....
Boundaries
WHAT THEY ARE The concept of “boundaries” relates to our sense of self. At birth and for a long while after, a baby has no real sense of who they are. When we see a baby in their mother’s arms, we see two people – the child and the mother. But...
Can You Make Someone Change?
At least half of the letters I get are from people who want to change somebody else. These letters usually start by listing the other person’s faults. This is followed by a list of all the things the writer has done to try to make the person change. Then there...
Changing Your Personality
People who have never experienced therapy often ask: “Do people really change?” People who have experienced good therapy know the answer is a resounding “Yes!” [If you wonder about this yourself, please read: “About Change.”] But there’s a related question that even...
Clear Communication: #1
COMMUNICATION TRICKS I’m going to be telling you about some “tricks” you can use to communicate clearly with anyone. I call them tricks because most people don’t know about them and because they often work so powerfully that they seem to give...
Clear Communication: #2
This is the second in a series of topics on communication. Refer back to topic #1 if you need to. SUMMARY OF THE FIRST TOPIC Have a purpose, and remember it. Remember the topic, notice when it starts to change, and go back to it. Be ready to cooperate – so both...
Cooperation: How?
“Cooperation #1: Why?” was about why we cooperate and how to decide whether to cooperate or compete. This topic is about how to actually do the cooperating. THE CONVERSATION We could come up with some nonverbal examples of good cooperation but most of the...
Cooperation: Why?
People who want to control us say, “All I want is for you to cooperate.” What they really mean is, “Go along with me or I’ll accuse you of not being cooperative.” Cooperation isn’t about giving up what you want. It isn’t about...
Couples: Passive and Controlling Partners
PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER? Passive people usually find controlling partners. Controlling people usually find passive partners. They are “perfect” for each other. In apparently opposite ways, each person aims at controlling the other. Passive people are...
Depression: The Problem
WHAT MAKES US DEPRESSED? We get angry about twenty times a day. If we believe our anger is bad or that it’s scary to be angry, we keep it inside. The unexpressed anger builds up. It takes so much energy to keep it bottled up that we get tired from all that...
Depression: What To Do About It
BE ANGRY OR BE DEPRESSED Depressed people are angry people who don’t admit it to themselves. They tend to say nothing when they should be saying: “Get out of my way!” Anger is a natural emotion which occurs whenever something is in our way. We...
Discipline
FEARFULNESS The most troubled adults I know are those who were frightened as children by extreme physical abuse or psychological terror. Their parents called it “discipline.” The more horrendous the beatings and the more frightening the threats, the longer...
Do You Think You Can’t?
You are incapable of something if you are physically unable to do it. You are capable of something if you are physically able to do it. If you were hired to do something your mind just can’t comprehend, you are incapable of those duties. If you want to walk up a...
Fantasy and Reality – Part 1
Part One is a bit theoretical. Part Two will be more practical. NEVER THE TWAIN…. Popular culture says we are “crazy” if we can’t tell fantasy from reality. If that’s the definition, then we are all crazy. (No news there!) The key to...
Fantasy and Reality – Part 2
Part One was mostly theoretical. Part Two is more practical. SUMMARY OF PART ONE Fantasy is all mental activity. Reality is what we know through our senses. Fantasy should only be used for entertainment and for brief problem solving. HOW IT HELPS TO TELL THE...
Feel Safe By “Safing Yourself”
UNNECESSARY FEAR Everyone feels unnecessary fear sometimes. Some people feel it almost constantly. When you feel this way, you know you are scaring yourself mentally and that you need to stop it. But stopping it can be difficult. How can you make it easier to stop?...
Growing Up Emotionally
THE DAY WE GREW UP Most of us can remember the day we grew up. It was the day our parents did us the favor of being so unreasonable that we said good-bye to our dependence on them forever and entered into the adult world of choices. Looking back, we realize that the...
