Q: I am a 50 year old woman who has been depressed most of my 50 years. The problem is that I know why I’m depressed but I can’t stop it. I’ve seen doctors but they can’t help. You see, I know what’s wrong and who caused it, or what caused it, so doctors can’t help me. The ones I have gone to just wanted to give me pills. Never a real help.

I don’t like myself and I don’t know how to. Lots of things have gone wrong in my life and now I’m 50 and never enjoyed this life and I want to very much before I leave it. But my depression is so deep, to the bone, and it keeps coming on me every 3-4 days. So it’s an ongoing fight. I’m tired, so tired. I need so long peace before I leave this world. What can I do?

A: First of all, you only mention doctors and you don’t mention therapists. And yet, in this letter, you are showing that you want to talk about all of this with someone. You need a therapist to sit down with and talk all this over. Since you know what the depression is about, you can talk about how to deal with it in very concrete terms.

Doctors tend to prescribe medication. And medication only helps a bit usually. The American Medical Association recommendation for depression is both medication and psychotherapy. Many doctors don’t make needed referrals for the therapy.

Did you read “Are You Considering Therapy?” at my site? Also, did you read the topics related to depression, and anger, and sadness? I’d suggest them. But mostly I’d suggest calling a good therapist.

Consider this letter as your first step toward therapy, OK?

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