Q: A man I am dating demands I lose some weight to be able to proceed with a deeper involvement. I am bit hurt by this request, but I do like him and I wonder if I tell him off that someone else might tell me the same. I don’t think I am too overweight, but I am not a model skinny either. Should I really lose weight to be able to have a boyfriend?

A: No! You should lose this man and learn to love yourself as you are.

The fact that you wrote this letter shows that you know you are far more important as a person than you are as a “body.” Good!

But the fact that you wonder about this at all shows that you might sometimes think that you have to pretend to be under the control of some man and his perceptions of your worth. Wrong!

And by the way, although it doesn’t apply to you, you should know that even people who are extremely overweight need to accept themselves as they are first, before even hoping to succeed at losing weight. Their self-hate makes them feel so bad that they eat to compensate.

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