Q: Do all or most guys that get off by fantasizing about or watching so called violent acts of sex become sexual predators? thanks

A:: This isn’t the kind of thing I’d know about for sure, but I’ll do some speculating.

1) I doubt that everyone who fantasizes about this, or about anything, actually ends up Doing the things they fantasize about.

2) There is supposedly a natural stage of development during which sadistic acts are “normal.” It’s around the age of 11 or 12 for boys, and maybe from about 9 to 15 or so for girls. When you read about someone setting a pet on fire or something like that in the news, you’ll usually find that it’s a boy around 11 or 12…. and females gossip and demean each other a great deal during the 9 to 15 years. When real life shows kids that the adult world won’t tolerate such cruelty, this stage is overcome in most people. Some people “sexualize” these sadistic impulses during these years, and that makes them last.

3) “Violent acts” can mean many things. Many people find a *little* rough sex enjoyable (both sexes). But if the person you are wondering about enjoys watching things like murders and bloody beatings and such, he certainly has a huge problem and may be dangerous.

4) “Sexual predators” is also vague. I think of that term related to abusing children, or at least to “stalking” the opposite sex. I think the dynamics behind stalking and child abuse are usually different. They are definitely into “power” over those they hurt, but usually they don’t physically abuse their target the way sadists do.

What matters most is whether the people who are around the adults TAKE the mistreatment.

If you don’t feel safe with the person, get away from them.
If you know of illegal acts they’ve done, please report them for the safety of all others.
If they show any such interest in children, protect those children.

Thanks for an excellent question.

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