I Want to Improve and I Am Willing to Work on Myself for a While
Success
A STORY OF FAILURE A 28 year old man came to therapy because his wife insisted, under threat of divorce. He talked only of his business, saying nothing at all about his wife, his children, or his friends. He had built a successful business which he recently sold at a...
Taking Care of Yourself
Do you think you know Michael Jackson well? How about Bill Clinton? Oprah Winfrey? Julia Roberts? Adolph Hitler? We think we know these famous people quite well even though we’ve never even shared a cup of coffee with them. They are too well known to be...
The Three Stages Of Relationships
THREE STYLES OF RELATIONSHIPS People generally tend to relate to each other in one of three ways: Dependently, Independently, or Interdependently. People in dependent relationships spend much of their time fighting about who has to take care of whom. People in...
Were You Loved As A Child?
Many people scoff whenever this topic comes up. “What difference does it make now?” they ask. “There are some people who like me now, and maybe some of them even love me.” “So what, if I wasn’t loved as a child!?” That’s...
What To Tell A Therapist
If you’ve never been in therapy you might wonder what people talk about week after week in those oh-so-private little offices. That’s what I’m going to tell you. If you are in therapy now this topic can help you to decide what to talk about if you...
Who Can You Trust?
ABOUT “CONS” In the general population about one out of ten people are completely untrustable. They are called “cons” and they live by these “rules”: 1) Only fools tell the truth. 2) If you can get by with it, it’s OK. 3) Joy...
Who Is The Real You?
It’s the classic question of all time: “Who Am I?” Am I the conscious me… the guy who works and plays and thinks and is aware of himself? Am I the subconscious me… the person with deep, hidden desires I don’t even know about? Am I the spiritual me… driven by spiritual...
Who’s Healthy?
The best measure of emotional health is: How well do we handle the problems and opportunities we face in our daily lives? If you are extremely neurotic but you’ve found a way to survive a difficult life, you are far healthier than those who avoid such labels...
Why Are You Treated The Way You Are?
THE 95% RULE Ninety-five percent of the time we get treated the way we INVITE people to treat us. ABOUT “INVITATIONS” Everything we do, especially our nonverbal behavior, is an invitation to those around us. A smile is an invitation. So is a frown. So is a...
Why Do We Work So Hard?
“I couldn’t find a moment’s rest.” “The boss is a slave driver!” “The kids just kept demanding more and more of me.” We hear complaints like these every day – from friends, family members, everyone. When we agree...