I Am Often Afraid or Anxious
About Joy
OUR “AUTOMATIC PILOT” Plants are on automatic pilot to grow toward the sun. Animals are on automatic pilot to grow toward food and procreation. Everything in nature is on automatic pilot – constantly seeking what will meet its needs. Humans are on...
Analyzing Your Dreams
DON’T MISS THE OBVIOUS Everyone wonders what their dreams mean, and there are many complicated systems one can use to learn about them. Since any attempt at looking inward is rewarding, all of these systems probably help some. But don’t miss the obvious....
Basics #1: Your Needs and Wants
What every eight-year-old should know and most adults have never been taught about the emotions that run our lives. INTRODUCTION This topic explains what your feelings are, how to use them to help yourself, and how to overcome the ones that get in your way. This...
Basics #2: Your Natural Feelings
What every eight-year-old should know and most adults have never been taught about the emotions that run our lives. THE NATURAL, REAL FEELINGS Feelings that start in our senses are natural responses to the real world. When we notice real anger, or sadness, or scare,...
Basics #3: Unnatural Feelings
What every eight-year-old should know and most adults have never been taught about the emotions that run our lives. ABOUT GUILT Since guilt is not a natural, necessary emotion, it blocks and wastes our energy. GUILT IS A COVER-UP FOR ANGER WHICH LEAVES US FEELING SAD....
Boundaries
WHAT THEY ARE The concept of “boundaries” relates to our sense of self. At birth and for a long while after, a baby has no real sense of who they are. When we see a baby in their mother’s arms, we see two people – the child and the mother. But...
Cooperation: How?
“Cooperation #1: Why?” was about why we cooperate and how to decide whether to cooperate or compete. This topic is about how to actually do the cooperating. THE CONVERSATION We could come up with some nonverbal examples of good cooperation but most of the...
Cooperation: Why?
People who want to control us say, “All I want is for you to cooperate.” What they really mean is, “Go along with me or I’ll accuse you of not being cooperative.” Cooperation isn’t about giving up what you want. It isn’t about...
Do You Think You Can’t?
You are incapable of something if you are physically unable to do it. You are capable of something if you are physically able to do it. If you were hired to do something your mind just can’t comprehend, you are incapable of those duties. If you want to walk up a...
Fantasy and Reality – Part 1
Part One is a bit theoretical. Part Two will be more practical. NEVER THE TWAIN…. Popular culture says we are “crazy” if we can’t tell fantasy from reality. If that’s the definition, then we are all crazy. (No news there!) The key to...
Fantasy and Reality – Part 2
Part One was mostly theoretical. Part Two is more practical. SUMMARY OF PART ONE Fantasy is all mental activity. Reality is what we know through our senses. Fantasy should only be used for entertainment and for brief problem solving. HOW IT HELPS TO TELL THE...
Feel Safe By “Safing Yourself”
UNNECESSARY FEAR Everyone feels unnecessary fear sometimes. Some people feel it almost constantly. When you feel this way, you know you are scaring yourself mentally and that you need to stop it. But stopping it can be difficult. How can you make it easier to stop?...
Feeling Like You Belong
We all want to have the sense that we belong among people we know. Where do we really belong? What makes us feel less like we belong? What makes us feel more like we belong? WHERE DO YOU BELONG? You belong where you say you belong! The decision about whether you...
Feeling Safe
Throughout 95 percent of human history, staying safe was something we did! Now, since most of us have pretty safe lives, it is something we want to feel. PROTECTING YOURSELF IN THE REAL WORLD If there is a real threat in your life (an abusive family member, someone...
Guidelines For Emotional Health
I found it a very interesting exercise to try to come up with a list of the most important suggestions I could possibly make and have them fit nicely into this relatively small space. The list is arranged in order of importance. If you don’t follow all of these...
Handling Criticism
Criticism can be good for us, if it is wanted. But handling unwanted criticism is a burden in all our lives. A PERSONAL STORY I want to tell you about the least successful therapy I’ve ever done. A few years ago a woman was referred to me by her doctor. When I...
Hate
Are you hated? Who do you hate? WHY ARE YOU HATED? Print this topic. Then circle the words that describe you. Sex: Male Female Other Race: Black Brown Yellow White Red Mixed Schooling: Primary Secondary B.A. M.A. Ph.D Employment: None Employee Employer Professional...
How Does Abuse Happen?
As I write this, our country is rightly embarrassed and understandably shocked after learning about prisoner abuse and other atrocities committed by us, and against us, during war. As a therapist, I know that abuse doesn’t occur only in war. I hear nearly every...
Living With Alcoholics
THE PROBLEM Alcoholism is still the scourge of this country. Earlier identification of the problem and better treatment programs have improved things, but the number of lives damaged and all of other costs involved remain immense. Much of what will be said here...
Making Decisions
We are all indecisive sometimes. It happens whenever there are two things we want almost equally but we can only have one of them. This topic will help you decide with confidence when you think you can’t decide. We’ll look at seven ways we get confused....
