Q: I believe I have most everything I want and live a good life, but am unable to ever feel contentment (stop and smell the roses). I believe I amplify stressful situations to have a self-purpose. I am afraid that I am not enjoying the things under my nose and one day I will regret not seizing these opportunities. Advice?

A: I’ll take your letter bit by bit….

“Unable to feel contentment” — What do you think contentment would feel like if you had it? Being content is, for all of us, an excellent although temporary situation. After we get something we want, we naturally move on – within hours or days – to the next thing we want. Seems you need to be OK with knowing that you’ll never have “everything” and that although things are good there are still other things you want.

“Amplify stressful situations to have a self-purpose” — Sounds like you believe in scaring yourself! If that’s true, ask yourself where you got the idea that being scared was good for you! If you don’t think it’s true that you scare yourself, then my next guess would be that you – like many men – confuse being scared with being excited. Look for some excitement in life and notice that you Enjoy it… and that it’s not scary at all.

“Will regret not seizing these opportunities” — There are always opportunities, and we miss many of them. Look at what you’ve got instead of what you could have. All your life you will know that you could have had more. That’s the human condition, so it’s not going to go away. Your task then becomes learning to enjoy the opportunities you’ve already taken advantage of, and a few of the ones that are going to keep coming your way in the future.

You might learn more by going to this page at my site: “I am often scared or anxious”

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