Q&A
HER THERAPIST SHAMES HER
Q: I have a really poor therapist who is harming me. I am not sure how to extricate myself from her (long story), but I started seeing another therapist recently so I could get help with that and other things. I am going to share your site with #2. You and she seem to...
HIS PROBLEM, HER SOLUTIONS
Q: I think I am being mentally abused. My husband always makes degrading remarks to me. He gets really irritated at my daughter (his step daughter) and her little dog because it barks to go outside. It’s a Maltese and chats how it communicates. He says things...
HOLIDAY DEPRESSION
Q:I am getting seriously depressed each year around the Holidays. This is a time when everyone is cheery and I don’t know why at this time there is something always wrong with me. How do I overcome this? A:There is more depression around the holidays than at any...
HOW DOES THERAPY END?
Q: How do I (or my therapist) know when I’m “done” with therapy? Can I ever be “done?” And, how does therapy “end,” whether it’s because we’re “done” or because I’m moving and can’t meet...
HOW MUCH SHOULD HE TELL HIS WIFE?
Q: I’ve been married for 17 years. Is it necessary to share everything for a marriage to be fundamentally honest? I have a few little secrets (the occasional cigar even though she’s anti-smoking, etc.) that my wife doesn’t know about. Should I feel...
HOW THIS INFO HELPED HIM
Q: Your topic, “Shame- What you can do about it,” started me down a different path in life – one that no longer includes thoughts of suicide. The site in general gave me many mental building blocks that, aside from helping in the interim, made...
HOW TO KNOW IF HE’S INTERESTED
Q: I am a 42-year old woman and lately I have been concerned that I am attracted to a co-worker. Normally I would just ask the person out but as this man is much younger than me (about 30), I highly doubt he is interested beyond friendship. Is there a way to determine...
HOW TO MEET SOMEONE NEW
Q: I am a little confused with the dating scene: How does one approach women (in a club) and ask her out? A: I usually hate to talk about “techniques” or “lines” to use at such times, but I do have an idea for you that works very well. When you...
HUSBAND WANTS TOO MUCH ATTENTION
Q: My husband asks for my undivided attention constantly. He wants me to “stroke” him by telling him all the ways he is so wonderful. He wants me to do this until he falls asleep at night, (every night) and in the evenings while I rub his feet. I feel...
HUSBAND WANTS UNDIVIDED ATTENTION
Q: My husband asks for my undivided attention constantly. He wants me to “stroke” him by telling him all the ways he is so wonderful. He wants me to do this until he falls asleep at night, (every night) and in the evenings while I rub his feet. I feel...
HUSBAND’S PROBLEMS
Q: My husbands actions come under category Avoidant/antisocial Personality Disorder. Is this self-cured? He gets irritated by talking to some people and avoids them altogether as personal rivalry without reasoning and no forgiveness. He insults guests who come home by...
IMAGINES SHE’S TELLING HIM OFF
Q: I am 51 year old married female. When I’m angry I talk out loud to myself and have a conversation with the person I’m angry with. Then I imagine that he understands me. This gets embarrassing. Why do I do this. I am a highly sensitive person A: I...
IS ABUSE THE CHILD’S FAULT?
You might want to read “How Does Abuse Happen?” to understand parts of this letter. She’s asking about a statement in that topic which says that the abused person of any age believes they are desperate, has given up their right to think, and believes...
IS HE ADDICTED TO PORN?
Q: We’ve been together five years, lived together half that time. We have a loving, happy relationship. Recently, I discovered via the computer that he’s fascinated by hard-core pornography, lots of it. When confronted, he said I have no right to be upset,...
IS HER DEPRESSION DUE TO CHILDHOOD TRAUMA?
Q: I’ve been seeing a therapist for chronic depression and fear of failure issues. He believes that I was either abused as a child or had some traumatic event as a child. I have absolutely no recollection of any such event, and I’m scared to even think...
IS HER GUY GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER?
Q: How do you know if your guy is “good enough” for you to marry? How do you know whether your longing to be with other guys is just a “seven year itch” or a sign that your heart belongs elsewhere? How do you determine what you really need in a...
IS IT ME OR MY WEIGHT?
I am a little overweight and I don’t get many dates because everyone I know is so slim. I have been on a diet all my life and on a perpetual yo-yo with my scale. How do I get a date? Or is it about the weight? The alternative would be that it’s me. A: You...
ISN’T PERFECTIONISM GOOD FOR US?
Q: After reading the comments on perfectionism, I couldn’t help but think how it sounded like a prescription for mediocrity. Would we have great art, music and literature in a world with low standards? In fact, isn’t it one of the criticisms of our culture...
IT MEANS TOO MUCH
Q: What does it mean when dogs are chasing you (trying to attack you) ? A: What it “means” doesn’t matter! When there’s real danger, don’t waste time thinking. Just protect yourself!
JEALOUS BOYFRIEND
Q: My boyfriend claims he loves me but accuses me of doing all kinds of things. He is possessive and controlling. How do I deal with this and reassure him I am faithful in all aspects of our relationship? A: Your question concerns me a great deal because your...