Q&A
JEALOUS EX CAUSING TROUBLE
Q: I am married and have children with my partner. We have a wonderful relationship – no complaints about that. The problem is his ex-girlfriend. We love to go dancing and when we happen to see her at clubs she is always trying to start problems. She has also...
JUST ANOTHER SEXY DREAM
Q: Every night I have a different dream about my friend’s husband and I don’t understand why. Each dream seems more passionate then the other; and although I have no sexual thoughts in waking life, my dreams seem to suggest otherwise. I’m feeling guilty, please help,...
LEFT A FEARFUL HOME LIFE
Q: My home has been forever a place of intense verbal abuse and fear and, for my Mom, physical abuse as well. I finally succeeded in getting away; soon my little sister might as well. What of my Mom? Leaving is not an option for her, nor is any sort of therapy....
LIVES WITH AN ALCOHOLIC
Q: I have been living with an alcoholic for 5 years now, he is not physically abusive, but he is verbally when he is drinking. His parents have refused to help him or talk with him about his problem. They always tell me I don’t know how to advise you or help...
LONG DISTANCE DESIRE
Q: We’ve been in a long distance relationship for 2 years, and been together for 2.5 years. Today my fiancé told me today that he been thinking about other girls and he is curious about them. He is a very honest person and this issue is confusing him a lot. A:...
LOST HIS LOVE
Q: The woman I dated recently broke my heart. I truly thought she is the one but while on one hand I was looking for the engagement ring and was thinking of a good place to propose to her, she obviously was not on the same brain wave She just left me with no...
LOST RELATIONSHIP AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
(… wonder if this is from the same person as above…) Q: I split up with my girlfriend a while back and she seems to be sleeping her way through my mates as best she can. Should this make me feel as bad as I do? I suffered from depression earlier in my life...
MASTURBATION HELP FROM A THERAPIST?
Q: Do you think it’s inappropriate or harmful for a therapist to talk a patient through masturbating over the telephone no matter what the genders? A: I don’t think the genders matter. Otherwise, I guess I might be able to imagine a very unique scenario in...
MAY BE HAVING FLASHBACKS
Q: Why do I think I was abused in all ways when I was a child? Why can’t I remember any of my childhood except flashes? Why do I have to even think of these things or wonder? Please read everything at my site about childhood abuse. You can find a list of these...
MEAN TO HER BOYFRIEND
Q: I love my boyfriend, but I can’t help being mean to him. I treat him the way my mother treats me. I want to be nice…. ….please help! A: You’ve said so much in this little note! Here are some things to think about: 1) How does your boyfriend treat...
MEN WHO ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO IMPRESS
Q: Many men seem to date to prove something. They don’t personalize the woman they are with, but instead treat us all as if we are inanimate “things.” Why are men like that? A: Many men and women do everything in their life as if they are...
MOTHER DISAPPROVES OF HER SON
Q: My 12 yr. old calls his 9 yr. old brother names when feeling annoyed with him. My visiting mother voices her disapproval to him, which makes me feel defensive over my son, even though he is wrong. Do you think it is her place to say anything to him? A: I think if...
MOTHER FINDS SON’S PORN
Q: I found a large box of pornography pictures and videos in my thirteen year old son’s room. I know that there is a certain normal curiosity at this age about sex and all that. However, most of the material I found was of forced sex. He wouldn’t discuss...
MOTIVATION
Q: I’d like motivational assistance. I plan many things, but often quit soon after I start. I want to know how to do better. A: Motivation is just raw energy. If you eat, sleep, drink, and take care of other basic bodily needs, you do have plenty of motivation....
MOVED SO OFTEN THAT SHE HAS TROUBLE MAKING FRIENDS
Q: Up until I was 9 year old I moved 7 times and attended 5 schools. In that time I made many friends and lost many friends. After I was 9, I moved 3 more times but stayed in the same school district. I am now 26 years old and only have 2 very close friends. I have...
PARENTS WANT HER TO MARRY
Q: My parents expect me to marry and have children, but I don’t have any desire for either. They tell me I will be a spinster and that I will find out what a big mistake I made later when I will not be able to correct it. Are they right? A: First of all you have to...
PASSIVE AND CONTROLLING COUPLE
Q: I’m wondering what you mean by the passive one always “wins.” [Comment on topic: “Couples: Passive and Controlling Partners”] I don’t see how anyone wins in this type of relationship. I am the controller and he is passive...
PERFECTIONISM AND RELIEF
Q: As a probable perfectionist I have a problem with your self help: Your examples for relief and satisfaction do not give me either – why is that? E.G. urinating: satisfies a physical need but once done is just out of the way – no sense of achievement I...
PRETENDS HE’S AMAZING
Q: By pretending to be the most amazing person in the world, I can get myself into a state in which I feel and act as such! It’s great, but I can only sustain it for no more than a day. Can I make it permanent? If so, how? A: Can’t be done. We live in the...
REBELLION AND LIFESTYLE
Q: My daughter-in-law (after threatening to do so and being told that it would upset me) hung a motorcycle ornament on my Christmas tree (angels). My son asked if I liked the “joke”. I said no. He got mad, said I couldn’t take a joke, stormed out,...